Farse preferate de la Buzdugan
Vreau sa fiu varcolac!
Politistul
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Bancuri:
Prietenia intre femei: O femeie se intoarce acasa dimineata, sotul o intreaba unde a fost pina la ora asta, la care femeia raspunde ca a dormit la cea mai buna prietena a ei. Barbatul da telefon la 10 cele mai bune prietene ale nevestei, dar niciuna nu-i confirma ca a dormit noaptea la ea. Prietenia intre barbati: Se intoarce barbatul dimineata acasa si sotia il intreaba unde a fost pina la ora asta. El isi argumenteaza lipsa datorita faptului ca a dormit acasa la cel mai bun prieten. Femeia telefoneaza la 10 cei mai buni prieteni a sotului ei si din toti, 8 ii confirma ca intr-adevar noaptea precedenta sotul ei a dormit la ei. …… Ceilalti 2 insista ca inca se afla acolo… 
Porcul isi batea joc de magar:
- Ba, uita-te la tine ce naspa esti, ma, ce blana naspa ai, tat timpu’ esti murdar, plin de scai, esti naspa, uita-te ce picioare cioturoase ai, esti naspa ma, si uite ce urechi naspa ai…
Magaru’ - nimic. Porcu’ mai departe:
- Ba, da uita-te cum isi bat tati joc de tine, nu-ti dau sa mananci mai nimica, esti naspa, numa fan si ziare mananci, esti si lenes si prost si natang pe deasupra, esti bataia de joc a ograzii, uita-te la tine ce naspa esti, si ni ce urechi mari si naspa ai…
Magaru’ iar - nimic. Porcu’, intaratat, continua:
- Ba si ce coada naspa si mica ai ma, uita-te ma la tine, ce amarat esti, nici in grajd nu te lasa, te tine legat aci de gard toata ziua, nu stii sa faci nimic, uita-te calu’ ce bine-o duce, ca trage bine la caruta, si vacile ce bine manca, daca dau lapte, le ingrijeste, da’ tu esti prost ma, si de-aia-si bat toti joc de tine, ca esti naspa ma, uita-te la tine, si ce urechi naspa ai…
La care magaru’, foarte calm, aratand cu “degetul” spre porc:
- Auzi, da’…..tu nu esti porcu’ de-anu trecut, asa-i? 
Un tip era poarta Raiului. Sf Petru il intreaba ce fapte bune a facut pentru a intra in Rai.
- Am vazut niste motociclisti care violau o femeie. M-am dus la cel mai mare dintre ei, i-am daramat motocicleta, i-am smuls cercelul din nas, l-am tras de barba si i-am zis sa lase femeia in pace.
Sf Petru 
- Felicitari! Esti curajos omule. Cand s-a intamplat chestia asta?
- Acum cateva minute.
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he’d buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone.
He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.
He explained his situation. The old man said, “Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except—” and he stopped.
“Except what?” the man asked.
“Nothing, nothing.”
“C’mon, tell me! I need something!”
“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis.”
“So what’s up with this Voodoo Penis?” he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said “Big damn deal.It looks like every other dildo in this shop!”
The old man replied, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.”
He pointed to a door and said “Voodoo Penis, the door.”
The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said “Voodoo Penis, return to box!” The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more.
“I’ll take it!” said the businessman.
The old man resisted, saying it wasn’t for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an imitation Rolex. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say “Voodoo Penis, my crotch.”
He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis.
She undressed, opened the box and said “Voodoo Penis, my crotch!” The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough.
She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained, “I haven’t had anything to drink, officer. You see, I’ve got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!”
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, “Yeah, right… Voodoo Penis, my ass!”
The rest is history.
La un concurs de inventii participa un brazilian, un chinez si un tigan.
Brazilianul: La noi 
Ronaldo si-a rupt piciorul, i-am pus unul de lemn si joaca mai bine decat juca inainte. Toti: wow felicitari!
Chinezul: La noi mama si-a scos ochii intr-un gard, i-am pus niste ochi de sticla si vede mai bine decat vedea inainte.
Toti:
wooow super, bravo
Tiganul: La noi unul si-a rupt p**a, i-am pus una de metal si f**e mai bine ca inainte. 
Chinezul 
Imposibil, cine a vazut inventia ta?
Tiganul: Ma-ta cu ochii de sticla.
